Sunday, June 6, 2010

Troy was a bit more alert today than he has been in the past few days. The nurse told me this morning that when she walked into the room first thing this morning and he had his eyes wide open. His dad, his cousin Mitchell, the girls, Brian, Linda and myself were in the room with him today and spent time talking with him and keeping him company. We did get him to open his eyes more than he did yesterday, so that was a good thing to see. He also seemed to be looking at Tyra a lot and looking around the room at everyone else. He almost had this look on his face of wanting to say something. He continues to move his left arm and left leg a lot.

After everyone left I stayed with him and spent a few hours sitting by his side and talking to him, cleaning him up, and reading bible verses to him; he seemed really attentive to what I was saying. I saw him studying my face and at times bringing his left arm towards me and when I put my hand in his cast he would squeeze my fingers. I kept talking with him and he continued to study me, almost as if he wanted to talk to me. He didn't, but the look on his face was enough to keep me talking to him and keep me going.

Also, he had his "picc" line and bladder catheter removed today. When he first arrived at Shepherd Center the picc line was put in so they can feed him intravenously and give him medicines through the line. They have been giving him his meds and food by the feeding tube in his tummy so they were able to pull that out today since he's been tolerating the feeding tube very well. And the catheter was taken out because he really can do without it now and not having it in decreases his chance of infection. He will have a diaper on until he wakes up and is alert enough to get up and use the bathroom by himself.

Other than that today I had to say goodbye to everyone and it was really hard for me. It gets harder and harder to say goodbye to them every time. Being reunited and separated again, time and time again, just keep tearing a whole in me that just opens up old wounds I had when we were separated the first time. I was able to stay composed while saying goodbye to the girls but I must admit I have been broken up all day since then. I miss my girls and I miss my husband. I have been seeking God's face all day and praying to Him to give me the strength that I need and the strength I'm going to need in the coming weeks, so that I can figure out where to live, find a place with good schools for the girls and myself, and make sure that I can keep the family together in the process. I am so grateful to have such a supportive chain of friends, family and church family! I don't know how I could do any of this without everyone's help, support and prayers.

I know God will get me through all of this. I don't believe, for one minute, I would have gotten this far without the Lord and I know I'll need Him to help me through the rest. I am casting all my worries upon the Lord, because he cares for me as the bible tells me in 1 Peter 5:7.

The next few weeks are going to be filled with calls,questions, answers and future planning. Please continue to pray that God gives me the wisdom to do what is pleasing to the Lord and that I remain faithful to Him to guide me every step of the way.


  1. Troy squeezing your finger must have been incredible!!! wow

  2. hello dear joan!

    what a joy to read that he squeezed your hand and was studying your face!!! praise God sister! we will continue to keep you and your family in our prayers for the Lord to do His amazing will in your life. i cannot imagine how hard it must be but am so thankful that the Lord is keeping you in His strength.

    with love in our Savior,

  3. Wow Joan. Thanks so much for your heartfelt honesty. It helps me to know how best to pray. My heart hurts with yours, and rejoices in knowing that you are CLINGING to the Lord. Keep going! Know that we are praying with you and for you.

    Cheering you on,